Don’t judge me. Or at least, judge me fairly.
I was going to say something deep and meaningful, but thought of Joan Holloway and everything just completely slipped my mind. So it goes.
Wait wait! I’ve got it. I hate that television is damned alluring. I had vowed to not get hooked on any new shows, but Mad Men caught me with one episode. Damn them!
Though, I will say that while I like the show, I’m not at all like the protagonist. Not that I resent him, I just think it would be hard to do what I do with that supreme air of confidence. The End.
Being funny is a lot better than being a sad-sack. The only downside is the rampant self promotion thing, which isn’t really my bag, but if I want to do the comedy thing, I have to make a point of making sure people see it. Hopefully it won’t become too annoying…
Numbers were never my A game.
I tried comedy as a performance art instead of an awkward social mechanism, and it seemed to go over pretty well. I only had so much material prepared, but I know what worked, and what didn’t. I’m not sure if I would like to do anything like this for a living (or if I could, even), but it’s nice to know that it’s not quite as difficult as I had imagined to get a few strangers to laugh about bears, Jesus, and my awkward sex life.
I’ve been reading through my old blog on Myspace, and I think I used to be funnier. Infinitely more immature (yes, that’s possible) but a lot funnier.
Excerpts:
I honestly think that at this point, Heaven is just getting by because they just have to be better than Hell.
“Have you ever had sex in a public place?”
I thought that said pubic place, and for a split second I thought “Where else is there?” And then I remembered sodomy.
If the hands and legs are going to be there, I expect them to be doing other things, like juggling or shadow puppets, because I feel like women don’t really do enough to keep the man entertained in the bedroom.
A woman with tentacles would just be even more cumbersome. Honestly, the limbs you already have just get in my way. I’m looking for a quadriplegic that’s a bit on the adventurous side.
The only downside to re-reading the past is that you realize that your still wrestling with the same problems you’ve always wrestled with. I’ve made progress, but it’s not exactly like I’ve got life all figured out. I will say, however, that I’m a lot more comfortable now with the fact that I never will figure it all out.
I think that I should start Greenville’s first ‘Impromptu Street Choreography Ensemble.’ Because how awesome would it be if you were just walking down the street and 12 strangers just burst into dance with perfect rhythm, timing and purpose. Pretty damn, is the answer. Pretty damn awesome indeed.
I think this concept has been mentioned on this very blog before, but it’s late and I’m lazy, so oh well.
One of the concepts from Buddhism that I really just want to run with is the concept of allowing people to be free from predetermined roles in your life. When you place an expectation on someone, you’re attempting (unwittingly, usually) to influence them. Emotions tend to make this practice infinitely harder than it should be. If you’re fond of someone, and you want them to reciprocate, you’re placing a demand on them. When you allow yourself to not be burdened by other people’s thoughts and emotions, then you’re allowing them and yourself to be free.
Having said that, I can’t help but think that this path is tread mostly by solitary footprints.
We talk about how much we hate drama. Oh the drama of hating the drama. The truth is that we love it. We need it. Drama lets us know all of our ‘big deals’ really are BIG DEALS. Other people will fashion drama from any little thing they find lying about, which is the drama we really hate. Mostly because some of that was probably ours and we weren’t quite finished with it yet.
Chicago, Miami, Washington D.C., Seattle, Orlando, New York (as if), Toronto, and Los Angeles (probably out too). These are all cities where I have found a listing requesting a male ballroom dance instructor. Some, New York for example, are likely a little out of my league. Those folks have been dancing for years and I’m sure that they are inundated with all sorts of kids infected with the wanderlust.
The problem isn’t which city I would choose (Chicago), or whether I would have enough money to go (not for a few months). The real problem that I have now is that I’m not sure my chosen ‘field of study’ is viable in the market the media is portraying to people. I mean, I’m certainly not hurting for money right now, and most of the people I know aren’t. But I’m sure there is some unlucky bastard out there who has fallen on hard times, so we are all going to hang out right down there with him.
While I like dancing, and I feel pretty darn confident of my ability to teach it, I’m thinking Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly, and Carol Goldsmith have scared just about everyone into hoarding gold bouillon and rifles until Jesus comes back. That kind of leaves me out of the picture, as we all know from Footloose, Jesus hates dancing.
So what am I to do? Well, it would seem that my best option would be to go back to school. As for what I would study, who knows? A few thousand years ago, when I was in high school (and thus, infinitely more important/relevant), I had considered a degree in psychology and advancing on to psychiatric medicine. The older I get, the less scary eight years of school seem to be.
And I predict many many more awkward moments before I get it right. It could take a hundred years or more…
